Your Kids Know More About Your Wealth Than You Think — Susan Schoenfeld
Susan R. Schoenfeld, CEO and Founder of Wealth Legacy Advisors LLC, serves as a ‘thought partner’ to families of wealth through personal attention and human spirit. Susan is an award-winning Thought Leader; she provides guidance on legacy, next-generation, stewardship, governance, leadership succession, and philanthropy. She recently spoke on Family Governance and The Family Office: Planning for the Next Generation at Opal Group’s Family Office Forum West in Napa, CA.
Parents often tell me that their kids have no idea that they are wealthy.
I hasten to remind them that there is this thing out there called the Internet. Kids Google their parents. They Zillow their homes. An enormous amount of information is out there and readily available.
I had a client last year who told me that her teenage daughter, who goes to an exclusive private school, Zillowed their home, and suddenly this child knew that the family owned a multi-million dollar apartment on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, overlooking the park. But what was really interesting was that the daughter also Zillowed a schoolmate’s apartment and said, we’re wealthy, but my friend’s family is significantly wealthier than we are.
It was a somewhat paralyzing moment for the mother. I suggested that she talk with her daughter about the family’s values, background and history. The child’s grandparents created the wealth through enormous sacrifice and hard work, that the teenager might not fully understand. I also suggested that she use the opportunity to teach her daughter about the concept of leverage, that the grandparents paid cash for their apartment, and perhaps the friend’s apartment is heavily mortgaged.
There are different ways to position that sort of information, but the bottom line is, don’t pretend the wealth doesn’t exist. Your kids have eyes. They see how you live. They see how you travel. They see how you spend, and what you spend on. They see you — or your driver — pulling up to their school in your Bentley. They see you flying private. They Google you and see that you attended the Society Gala. They know a lot more than you think they do.
Even if somehow miraculously, your kids don’t know how wealthy you are, but your brother-in-law has told his kids, guess what? Now your kids know.
I understand that the thought of having the “Money Talk” with your children often causes even more discomfort than the “Birds and Bees” talk, but my advice is to get ahead of the curve and start having those difficult conversations now in an age-appropriate fashion because, just like the “Birds and Bees” talk, if your kids don’t get the information from you, they will still get it somewhere else, and you want to be in the position of controlling that narrative.
Susan Schoenfeld, a public speaker & thought partner to families of wealth and their advisors, is an award-winning thought leader. Susan’s switch from successful estate planning attorney and CPA to a trusted family advisor and thought partner was inspired by families of wealth asking her searching questions beyond estate tax planning. As a conflict-free advisor who provides no investment, tax, or legal advice and sells no product, Susan shares her insights directly with wealthy families and with financial services experts. She is active as a keynote speaker and a leader of break-out sessions and workshops at conferences throughout the US.
Connect with Susan Schoenfeld on LinkedIn.
